Will You Go Out With Me?
by L.D. Anastasia
Summary: This is my version of the story of Lily and James from the very beginning, along with their closest friends. Enjoy :
1. We Meet Again

-1The boats nudged onto the shore as the first years stared up at the castle, completely speechless. They climbed out of the boats slowly, staring for the first time at the huge castle where they would spend the next seven years.

They walked slowly into the entrance hall, craning their necks to look at the ceiling. Chattering students flowed around them into the Great Hall and they clumped closer together they normally would have, stunned and nervous at the same time.

One boy, however, wasn't busy studying their surroundings. As he had turned to watch a ghost float past, a flash of deep red hair had caught his attention. Now he was busy studying the profile of the girl with the red hair. He nudged the boy standing next to him, a slighter taller boy with longish, dark hair and a handsome face.

"Hey, Sirius, I wonder who that is?" he said with a grin on his face. Sirius just looked at the boy. "You can't be serious, James. Oh, no, wait, of course you can't - I'm Sirius!!" He laughed at his own joke while James glared at him.

The smile died from his face as James continued to glare at him. He cleared his throat and continued, "Well, mate, you must really be in a daze, because that's Lily Evans."

James turned to look at him so fast that he cracked his neck. "Lily? How do you know? We haven't seen her since we were six. Besides, the Lily we knew was tiny, and she had bright red hair, and….."His voice trailed off.

"Yes, James, I'm sure we look different too, considering that was five years ago," Sirius said mockingly. "Look closer, mate. Her hair is darker, and she got a little taller, but she's still small, James. There's no mistaking Lily Evans. Watch."

He looked away from James in the direction of the redhead. "Oi! Lily! Is that you?!"

The girl turned and James froze. Sirius was right. She _was_ taller and her hair was darker, but there was no mistaking those emerald green eyes. He remembered, suddenly and jarringly, that first time he'd met Lily, when he was four. He and his parents had moved into a new neighborhood, and they'd invited over a few of their muggle neighbors in an attempt to fit in, as well as some magical families that they knew lived nearby. The Evans had been amongst those neighbors. So had the Blacks. James' parents already hated Sirius' parents, but for appearances sake they had had to invite them, since they lived right down the block.

James and Sirius had hit it off right away, becoming inseperable by the end of the night. Lily had spent very little time with them, because they were still convinced that girls had cooties, but over the years they had run into her at the playground and the supermarket and the bakery. Then she disappeared; her family had moved away, to another county.

But James still remembered the first time he had seen Lily, even though he'd been so young. He'd looked at her and then looked at his mother and said, "Mama, look! Her eyes look like your necklace!" For Mrs. Potter had been wearing an emerald necklace. She had laughed at James' declaration, but James knew he would never forget those eyes.

"James!"

"What?", he jumped, annoyed.

"James, mate, what happened to you? I must've called your name 20 times!!"

James just stood there, sort of dazed. "Right, um, sorry Si." But he offered no explanation.


	2. Catching the Train

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-1** 4****th**** Year**

"Will you go out with me, Lily?" 

Lily sighed and turned to face the tall, dark-haired boy behind her. "No, James. How many times are you going to ask me?"

He grinned cockily and responded, "As many as it takes, Lilyflower."

They were in fourth year now. James had liked Lily since that very first day, and he had been asking her out incessantly since the beginning of third year. He dated other girls, and yet something always drove him back to Lily. Sometimes he thought he desperately wanted to date her because she was one of the few girls in school who would ever turn him down, but he had a feeling it was something more than that.

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Lily sighed as she walked away from James. She knew he was only asking her out because she was the only girl in their year who would turn him down. But she didn't just want to be another one of James Potter's girlfriends. She wasn't about to be some cute little fling that would last one week and then have him dump her because she didn't laugh at every one of his jokes or make a fuss over how good he was at Quidditch. 

She turned into Transfiguration and collapsed into the seat next to one of her best friends, Alice. 

"Hey, Alice, how's it goin'?" she asked as their three other roommates joined them at the table. Julie, Charlotte, and Kayla muttered greetings to the others. All of them were exhausted; they'd stayed up late the night before painting their nails and talking.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat loudly and began the lecture. "Today, class, we will be working on transforming mice into chalices. You gain points if your chalice appears polished or fancy; you lose points if it is furry. Very well, you know the spell, you have your mice, you may begin. "

Lily sighed and pulled her wand out of her backpack. She could feel James' eyes on her, watching her every move, and she wondered why he was so obsessed with her.

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**7****th**** Year**

James leaned back in his seat on the Hogwarts Express, eating a Chocolate Frog. Sirius and Wormtail were sitting across from him, and Remus was next to him. Outside, he could see the last few first years, who had been nervous to leave their parents, rushing to board the train as the whistle blew. 

As the train began to move, he leaned forward, studying something very intently for an instant. Then, suddenly, without offering an explanation, he shot out of his seat, through the door, and down the corridor. He leaned out the door as the train picked up speed, holding on with one hand and offering his other to someone that his fellow Marauders, who had followed him, couldn't see.

"Help me!" he threw back over his shoulder, and Sirius rushed up beside him to take the girl's other hand and pull her onto the train, which was rapidly picking up speed. As the station whipped out of sight, the two pulled a red-haired girl onto the train, sending all three of them toppling over backwards. 

James and Sirius both landed flat on their backs, and Lily, somewhat awkwardly, landed face first on top of both of them.

"Hi, there," James said brightly. "How's it goin'?" Lily didn't move, and for an instant concern washed over James. But before he could do anything, she pushed herself off the boys and stood up.

"Thanks for that," she said, blushing. "I was helping the first years board, and I guess I didn't move fast enough."

"No problem, Evans," James said, a cocky grin spreading across his face. "Will you go out with me as a thank-you present?"

Lily just groaned and turned to walk away, but Sirius swept her up into a huge bear-hug. 

"It's good to see you again, too, Lilyflower. You're welcome, it was really no problem half throwing myself off the train to help you, and my summer was fine, thanks for asking." 

Lily pulled back with a grin. "Yes, yes, thank you Sirius. Why, wait a minute, yes, I do believe I said that before, but someone decided I was speaking only to him," she said, glancing playfully at James.

She said hi to Remus and Wormtail, waved, and left to find her friends.

James was still laying on the floor, propped up on one elbow. The cocky grin was gone, replaced by a silly, loopy smile that always scared the others. They glanced at him, then left laying him there. After a minute, James looked around and realized he was alone. He saw his friends a few yards away, and picking himself up, called out, "Hey! That's not very nice. You just walk away and leave me here! You know what?"

"What, Prongs?" Remus called back tiredly. 

"I think I forgot how pretty she was over the summer."

Three sets of hands all reached out to slap him at the same time.

"Hey!" he shouted.

\/p> 


	3. The Train Ride

\/p>

-1Ten minutes later, James strolled into the prefects meeting to find Lily standing before the fifth and sixth year prefects. Unsurprisingly, she had made Head Girl. She glanced over her shoulder, then said, "You're late, Potter."

"By what, 30 seconds?" he asked incredulously. "Besides, is that any way to talk to the new Head Boy?"

"Just sit - the new - WHAT!" Lily stammered.

James grinned manically. "Didn't you wonder who it would be?"

"I assumed it would be Alex Macmillan," she said stiffly.

"Ah, well," he said, trying to hide his disappointment, "it's not. You're stuck with me." He grinned at her, but Lily just shook her head and said to the others, "Well, as you can see I'm Head Girl and James Potter is apparently Head Boy. During the train ride we'll split up into pairs and take it in shifts to patrol the corridors. To keep everything fast and simple, the pairs will be the two prefects that are in the same year and the same house. Patrols will last for a half hour and will go in alphabetical order of the houses and then year order, starting with Gryffindor fifth years, then Hufflepuff fifth years, and ending with Slytherin seventh years. That okay with everyone?"

The others nodded their consent.

"Okay, good. Then you're all free to go. James and I will take care of the first years in Hogsmeade, so you only have to worry about shifts. Come see me or James if have any questions. Otherwise, we'll see you in a few hours," she said brightly, smiling at them.

They stood up and filed out, James and Lily taking up the rear.

When they reached James' compartment, James glanced in and then kept walking.

Lily sensed him there and said without turning, "I can find my compartment quite well by myself, Potter."

"That makes one of us," he replied, smiling widely at her look of confusion. "My friends aren't where I left them," he answered before she could ask. "Any chance they're with your friends?"

Sure enough, when they reached Lily's compartment, there were not only Lily's four roommates but also James' three best friends. The compartment was so crowded that Sirius and Charlotte were sitting on the floor.

"Hey, Jamsie!" Sirius greeted his friend enthusiastically. "We got bored waiting for you to come back, we depend on you so!" he cried dramatically.

When no one responded, he continued, "So, yeah, we decided to see if anyone wanted our company and these girls practically begged!"

"More like you waltzed in and sat down and refused to leave," Julie muttered, making Charlotte smile. 

Lily and James sighed, glanced at each other and back at their friends, and then proceeded to cram themselves into the compartment, possibly breaking the Guinness World Record for the most people crammed into one train compartment.

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When the train pulled into the Hogsmeade station hours later, it was pouring rain. Lily was walking around, directing the first years to the boats and the second years towards the carriages they had never used before. She was getter wetter by the second.

"May I?" said a voice in her ear. Suddenly the rain falling on her stopped. She glanced up, only to see a huge purple umbrella with the Hogwarts crest on it above her head. Then she looked over her shoulder to see James. Her instinct was to tell him to go away, but in all honesty she was very wet and even colder, so she simply turned back to the tiny girl she had been talking to without saying a word.

"Ah, I see that even your hatred of me isn't strong enough to turn down an umbrella."

Lily puckered her lips, and turned away from the girl again. "You know, what, Potter? You're right. Thank you very much." And with that she snatched the umbrella out of his hand, took the little girl's hand, and walked away in the direction of the boats, making sure the umbrella covered both her and the girl.

James looked after, stunned. It somehow hadn't occurred to him that she would grab the umbrella. He watched her for a moment, admiring how sweet and gentle she was with the child. He found himself thinking about what a great mother she would make. Then he shook his head, coming to his senses, and looked around only to find Sirius and Remus right behind him.

"Better luck next time, mate," Sirius said. "She's just quicker than you, is all"

"She is not," he said good-naturedly, laughing slightly. "She's just busy."

"Keep telling yourself that, Prongs."

\/p> 


	4. Feasts, Falls, and Forgiveness

-1Lily was exhausted. She had been helping Professor McGonagall with the first years, but now that they were waiting in the entrance hall she was free to go in to the feast. She walked into the Great Hall and inwardly sighed when she saw where her friends were sitting. Right next to the Marauders. And of course there was only one seat left. Right next to James Potter.

Sighing, she walked over to the seat and dropped into it. Despite the umbrella James had - uh - _given_ her, she was still soaked, and her hair was dripping. She dropped the umbrella into his lap. "Thanks, Potter."

He gaped at her. "How come you're so wet if you had my umbrella?"

She almost laughed at the astonishment in his face. "I didn't. I lent it to that little girl so she wouldn't get soaked. I just got it back from her in the entrance hall."

James sighed. Then he pulled off his cloak and draped it around her shoulders. "At least keep this on. You'll freeze to death before the term even starts."

"Thanks, but uh…" she pointed her wand at herself, wiggled it oddly, and she was dry. She laughed as James stared at her, shocked for the second time in 30 seconds. She put the cloak back in his lap as she said, "Silent incantations, Potter. They're almost like real magic!" And with that she turned to watch the sorting.

Finally, _finally_, the sorting was over. All of them were starving, and when the food appeared, they fell quiet as they began to eat ravenously.

After a few minutes, they started talking again, and before they knew it, the feast was over. James and Lily stood and tried to gather the first years together.

Lily glanced at him. "I think I can manage myself, Potter," she said.

"Ahhh, but then I wouldn't be living up to my Head Boy status, would I?" James smirked.

"Oh, yes," Lily said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, "because you did such a great job of it on train."

"Like you gave me a chance," he shot back.

"Well, then, what was your fabulous plan for splitting up the shifts?" Lily asked.

James opened his mouth to respond but didn't have a comeback for that one.

"That's what I thought," Lily smirked. "You see, by showing up _prepared_ for the meeting, Potter, I not only did my job as Head Girl but got everyone in and out very quickly because we didn't have to argue about how to divide the shifts and who would have to take the first and last shifts. You should try it some time. You might even live up to your Head Boy status."

She turned back to the first years, taking the little girl she had been with in Hogsmeade by the hand, and led them up the Grand Staircase towards Gryffindor tower, leaving James to follow behind and make sure none of the first years got lost on their way.

The next day was the first day of classes. James rolled over in his bed as the sun poked its rays through the window, only to jump out of bed and start throwing on the first clothes he could find. He tugged on his school robes over the wrinkled uniform that he had thrown into his trunk at the last minute and hoped down the stairs pulling on his shoes as he went. He only had fifteen minutes to get to his first class and he was _not_ in the mood to skip breakfast. He hoped all the way into the common room, switching feet halfway through so he could put on his other shoe, and proceeded to hop right into Lily, sending them both crashing over the arm of a sofa that was conveniently placed right behind them. They landed with a thud, James haphazardly placed on top of Lily.

It took her an instant to take a deep breathe and figure out what had happened and who was on top of her, and then she started screaming.

"Get off of me, Potter!" she shouted, slapping him with her hand, her other stuck under her back. "I'm going to report you to McGonagall if you don't get off me this instant!"

"Now, that's not very nice, is it, Evans?" James asked as he rolled off her, landing with a thud on the floor where he calmly proceeded to tie his shoelace. "I didn't make a fuss when you threw yourself at me yesterday, did I?"

"I DID NOT THROW MYSELF AT YOU!" she shouted in her fury and embarrassment, her cheeks turning red. "_I _lost my balance because I was being pulled onto a moving train by someone who apparently has no balance himself. _You_ fell over because you're late, and you didn't bother looking where you going." She sat up and gave a small cry as pain shot through the wrist that she had tried to break her fall with. The color drained out her face as she took a deep breath and tried to swallow back the nausea that had taken hold of her.

James was beside her in an instant, kneeling next to the couch before she even had time to register that he was moving. "What's wrong?" he asked, concern etched into his face.

She took a few deep breaths, fighting the pain. Finally, she managed, "It's nothing. I'm fine. I - I just got a head rush, that's all. Just a little dizzy." She forced a weak smile.

James didn't move. "Come on, Lily. I know you don't think much of me, but you can't possibly expect me to buy that. Let me see your wrist." He reached out to take her hand, but she jerked back, immediately regretting it as a fresh wave of pain came over her.

"No! Don't touch it. Please," she whispered, close to tears. She hated this. The last thing she wanted was for James Potter to see her cry, but she was in a lot of pain. It was taking everything she had to not scream, cry, or pass out from pain.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Why don't you let me take you to the hospital wing, Evans? You can't deny that you have to go." He reached out and brushed a lose strand of hair behind her ear instinctively, immediately regretting it. He really hadn't meant to do that, but he hadn't been able to stop himself.

"I'm fine, Potter. I'll go, I promise. But my legs still work fine, you know."

"Yes, yes, I'm sure they do. It's for my peace of mind, okay, Evans?" He had to admit that the slight return of nastiness actually relieved him quite a bit. He was a little shocked at how scared he'd been in that instant when he seen Lily's face go white and knew she was in trouble. Actually, it scared him how much he'd been scared.

Lily didn't move, didn't even look up at him, and he felt the same fear wash over him again. "Evans?" he asked softly. Still no response. "Evans, talk to me."

She raised her eyes to look at him. She just sat there for a moment, studying him. Then, finally, she nodded, and let him help her up and out of the portrait hole. He desperately wanted to wrap his arm around her waist as they walked down the hallway, not only to have her close to him but to reassure himself that she was okay. This time he held himself back, though. He knew that would only make her angry, and he didn't want to cause any more trouble. He was already mentally kicking himself. If he hadn't overslept, none of this would have happened because he never would have crashed into Lily and sent her falling backwards.

He turned to face her. "I'm sorry, Evans," he said as they reached the end of the seventh floor corridor. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't crashed into you you never would have gotten hurt."

She studied him in that ways of hers for a second, then laughed, weakly. "Keep it up, Potter, you almost sounded sincere that time."

He look shocked. "I am sincere. The last thing in the world I want is for you to be hurt. You do believe me, don't you?" he asked desperately.

She looked at him yet again. "Relax, Potter. In the long line of stupid things you've done, this is one of the few that wasn't intentional." She added silently to herself, _and I know you'd never hurt me_. That stopped her in her tracks. Her thoughts were scaring her. _Where did that come from_, she wondered, but hardly had time to give it thought, because Potter had looked back at her and was asking if she was alright.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied, pulling herself back to reality and picking up her trek to the hospital wing. _Just_ _a little surprised, is all_, she thought.


	5. Presents and Pictures

-1A/N: Please Review!! I really want to know what everyone thinks!! Oh, and since I forgot to put it at the beginning…

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, however much I wish I did.

"All right, Evans?" James asked, a grin on his face as he dropped onto the couch beside Lily. It was just after dinner, and Lily and her friends were relaxing in the common room for a few minutes before they tackled their homework.

"Go away, Potter," she said exasperatedly.

"How's your wrist?" he asked more seriously, completely unfazed by her remark.

"It's fine, thanks. Madam Pomfrey fixed it up in a minute. I wasn't even late to class," she answered quietly, hoping her friends wouldn't overhear. She had avoided telling them what had happened, mostly because of the, um, _awkward_, position she had been in when she hurt her wrist.

"Good. I'm glad. And I am really sorry, you know, Evans," he said, matching her quiet tone. She nodded silently, and he stood up, speaking loudly once again. "It's a shame, Evans, but one of these days I'll get you to say yes." He winked at her and then walked away. Alice leaned in instantly.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

Lily was instantly grateful for James' cover. He must have guessed she hadn't told anyone she'd gotten hurt. "You heard him. He was just asking me out again and trying to deal with my rejection," she said, smiling.

"Bullocks. He never whispers when he asks you out. What's going on?"

"Nothing! I swear. That's all it was. You know James, he's so weird. Maybe he thought I'd take a liking to him better if he tried a different method."

"Uh-huh. Sure. Whatever you say, Lils," Alice said. She didn't believe her friend for an instant, but she let it go, seeing as Lily clearly wasn't in a divulging mood. Instead, she reached into her bag and pulled out her books. "Come on, we better start on our homework. We have to write that essay for Slughorn on the proper way to brew Felix Felicis and we have to write one for McGonagall on anmagi - by tomorrow."

"We know, Alice, don't remind us," Julie groaned. "I was trying to block it out. Let me go back to sleep and pretend you never said that, Al, ok?

"I was just getting into a great dream where Sean Wood was about to kiss me!" Charlotte added.

Kayla groaned and threw a pillow at her. "Come on Charlie, we don't need to hear about your fantasies of Sean. Alice's right. We gotta get started. Come on, Jules, get up," she said, nudging her in the ribs.

They both groaned, then reluctantly sat up to find their books. Lily, Alice, and Kayla watched in amusement as their friends continued to grumble to themselves, at least, they did until James suddenly reappeared.

Lily glanced up, then sighed. "What do you want now, Potter?"

"Come with me," he said mischievously. "I have to tell you something."

Lily scoffed. "Yeah, like I'd just let you take me wherever you wanted. If you've got something to say, then say it."

"Just come!" James insisted. Then, before Lily could protest any further, he grabbed her by her thankfully-now-mended wrist and dragged her out of the portrait hole, seemingly oblivious to her attempts to wrench herself from his grasp.

"Stop!" she said, finally pulling herself free as they stepped into the hallway. "What are you doing, Potter?"

He grabbed her again and pulled her a few feet away from the portrait hole, then looked around to make sure no one was coming. "Relax, Lils. I just wanted to give you this. Something to make up for - er - well, you know, breaking your wrist and all," he said, blushing as he finished.

"James - I…" She didn't know what to say. She had not expected this at all. She was also used to a cocky, smug James, not a nervous, stammering, embarrassed one. "James, you didn't have to get me something. Honest, I really don't blame you for this one particular thing."

James grinned quickly, then said, "Well, I already got it. I felt bad and I wanted to make up for it." He held out a small pink box tied with a white bow.

Lily was fighting with herself. On the one hand, her brain was screaming at her not to accept presents from James Potter. But on the other hand, he had been pretty nice all day…and she did love getting presents…

James could almost see the debate in Lily's head. He grinned when she reached out and took the box from his outstretched hand, smiling at him.

"Well, just because you broke my wrist. This doesn't mean I owe you anything, Potter," she said sharply. "I'm just letting you…make amends."

"Absolutely. Understood," he said, grinning once more. "Now open it!" he said, in the excited tone of a small child who wanted his mother to desperately open the jewelry box with macaroni glued on top that he had made for her.

Lily pulled gently at the edge of the ribbon and it fell away easily. Slowly, she put it in her pocket and then took the lid off the box, sucking in her breath quickly when she saw what was inside.

"Oh, James, it's beautiful!" she said. His present had left her breathless. Inside the box was a gorgeous frame, silver with entwined hearts around the border. But what took her breath away was the photo. It was a picture of three small children. Two were boys with jet black hair, though one boy was slightly taller and his hair laid flat, while the other boy had uncontrollable hair and was a little shorter. Squished in between them was a girl smaller than either one of them, with bright red hair and green eyes.

"My mom sent it to me. She just found it a couple of weeks ago and thought we would get a kick out of it. I thought you might like it," James said quietly, studying his shoe intently.

She reached out and touched his wrist. "It's beautiful, James. I love it. Thank you," she said softly. Then she stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek, blushing as she did. She ducked her face and turned towards the portrait hole, trying to hide her blush. She turned back as she reached the portrait hole, though, feeling she couldn't let him off that easily. "This doesn't mean I'm suddenly in love with you, Potter. It just means I like the gift, that's all. Ok?" she said, a little of her usual snappiness returning to her voice.

"Got it," he said, grinning that grin of his. He watched her as she climbed back through the portrait hole, feeling his cheek tingle where her lips had been.


	6. Suspicions

-1When she joined her friends on the couch, she quickly slipped the box into her bag before any of them could see, then picked up her Potions book, pretending to read it. But her mind couldn't focus on the words on the page. For some reason, James' face kept swimming in front of her eyes, and so did the photo of the three of them. She couldn't believe he had come up with such a thoughtful gift to give her.

Alice interrupted her thoughts. "Would you like to tell us what that was all about?" she asked, smirking.

Lily tried to keep her tone calm as she replied, "It was nothing. He just wanted to apologize for - er - asking me out again." _Lame, Lily, really lame. _She had remembered at the last second that she hadn't told her friends what had happened, and she was now kicking herself for not thinking faster.

Julie looked at her skeptically. "That's the best you can come up with, Lily? He's asked you every day for the past three years, and never once has he apologized. You'll have to come with a better cover story than that."

"Honest," Lily said, trying to hide her blush but knowing it was only deepening by the second. "Don't ask me to explain the mind of James Potter. He's in a class all by himself."

"Uh-huh. If that's all he wanted, then how come you're turning the same color as a tomato, Lils?" Kayla said, grinning.

Lily's mind raced. "It's not!" she said indignantly. "I'm just a little warm! We _are_ sitting right in front of the fire."

"Funny, you'd think you'd get used to it since we sit here every night. In fact, I don't remember you getting flushed last night, or the night before that, or that night before -"

"Okay!" Lily said, cutting Alice off. "I get it. Maybe I just don't feel well tonight. I think I'll go lay down for a bit," she said quickly. Then she took off for the seventh year dorms before they could ask her any more questions, grabbing her bag as she left.

When she got upstairs she collapsed on her bed and let her bag fall to the floor. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, rubbing her hands over her face in an attempt to calm down. After a moment, she leaned over the edge of the bed and pulled the box out of her bag. She took the frame out and quickly hid the empty box under her bed. Then she laid back, holding the frame up in front of her face.

After a few minutes she put it down, hiding in the drawer of her beside table, but the three faces swam before her as clearly as if she were still holding the picture. One in particular seemed to have burned its big grin and messy black hair right onto her eyes so that she couldn't rid herself of it no matter how hard she tried. _This is very not good_, she thought to herself.

A/N Okay, I know this chapter's kinda short and not very interesting, but this was just the middleman. The next few chapters will be longer and more interesting, I promise!


	7. Girls' Night

-1When she woke up the next morning, the first thing Lily felt was something sharp digging into her side. Rolling over, she reached under herself and pulled out the picture frame. She sighed deeply. After finishing her homework the night before, she had taken out the picture to look at it again. When her roommates had suddenly walked in, she had hidden it under the blankets and apparently fallen asleep on top of it, forgetting that she had put it there.

Now she studied the picture more closely, and found herself wishing she was a little girl again. She remembered how her father used to sneak up behind her and whisper "Hello, my beautiful little flower," into her ear when he came home from work. Then he would scoop her up in his arms and spin her around and around in circles while she laughed wildly, loving every minute of it. She remembered coming home from school when she was a little older to find chocolate chip cookies or some other snack waiting for her. She remembered watching movies with her parents and friends. The memory that stood out now in her mind had been her last birthday at home, her tenth birthday. She had had her three best friends (at least they were her best friends then) over for a sleepover. Her mother had let her rent as many movies as she wanted and had even bought her new pajamas and a bunch of blankets so they could all sleep on the floor in the den in the basement. She had brought down pizza for dinner and later popcorn and every other snack they could imagine. At ten she had come down to tell them it was time to go to sleep, then ignored the soft laughter and talking that came from the basement for the rest of the night, pretending she didn't know they were awake. They watched movies and played games all night, and Lily had had the time of her life.

She found herself wishing that she could go back to that day, that she could relive it just once. Nothing was that simple anymore. She no longer lived at home for ten months out of the year, and she, along with the rest of the young witches and wizards in the school, were growing up faster than they should have had to. The threat of Voldemort hung over them all like a dark cloud the wind couldn't blow away. Everyone was affected. Two months ago, Lily had been the first one back to the common room one night. She had found a second-year sitting on the floor in front of the fire, a piece of parchment clutched in her fingers. It was crumpled and wet, from her tears, Lily later realized. Earlier in the day, Professor McGongall had told her that both of her parents had been killed, along with her younger brother and a cousin that had been living with them for the last six months after _her_ parents had been murdered. In an instant the girl had lost her whole family. The parchment was the last letter her parents had written to her. Lily had hugged her close and sat with her for hours until she fell asleep. And hers wasn't the only case. It wasn't uncommon to hear about students losing mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, friends, and other loved ones to Voldemort. Everyday it seemed someone else had a story to tell, a memory to share because the memory was all that was left.

Lily sighed and pushed away her morbid thoughts. She hid the picture in the drawer beside her bed and stood, going to the window to look out over the lake and let the sunlight banish the darkness from her mind. _Everything will be okay_, she thought to herself. She refused to think that it might not be.

--

Lily sighed as she sat in Transfiguration class, the sunlight hitting the desk in front of her. She usually had no problem paying attention in class, especially in this class, since Professor McGonagall did not take kindly to daydreamers. But today her mind was somewhere else.

"What's wrong?" Alice whispered into her ear when McGonagall turned her back for a minute.

"Nothing," Lily said. "I just can't concentrate today. I think we should do something fun tonight. We need a break."

Alice nodded, a smile playing on her lips. "Why, yes, we do," she whispered. "And I think I know just the thing!"

Lily smiled, reading her friend's mind. Her spirits lifted at Alice's happiness and the prospect of the night that lay before them. It would be nice to just have a girls' night again. They hadn't had one in over a month, and Lily realized that she desperately needed it.

--

When the five roommates got back to the common room that night, they immediately went up to their dorms and tossed their bags under the beds. Then they put on their pajamas, pulled out every drop of make-up and nail polish that they owned, and sat down. They had fun for awhile, talking and painting their nails and laughing. Slowly, they relaxed. The tension eased out of the girls and left smiles and laughter in its place. Then Julie suggested they play truth or dare.

"Truth or dare, Alice?" Charlotte asked.

"Ummm….truth," she replied, remembering the last time she had let Charlotte give her a dare.

"Okay. Do you fancy Frank, Alice?"

Alice turned scarlet in an instant. "No lies, Alice," Charlotte warned. "Fine," Alice said, resigned to her fate. "Yes, okay? I fancy Frank."

The games continued. They finished truth or dare and played some other games as they talked and laughed for awhile.

When they had all laid back on the floor, a little tired, Julie suddenly sat up. "Let's have a dance party!" she said excitedly. "We can go down to the common room. No one'll be there now, it's pretty late."

Lily and Alice glanced at each other. "I don't know, Jules, I'm pretty tired," Alice said.

"Oh, come on," Kayla had joined in now. "It'll be fun! Since when do we get tired when we're having fun?"

Charlotte pushed herself off the floor. "I have a wizard radio that should work even with all the magic in the air," she offered.

"Thanks, Charlie! See? Come on, it'll be fun, Alice," Julie pleaded.

Alice pretended to be annoyed. "Oh, all right. If everyone else is…"

"Lily?" Charlotte asked. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

Lily rolled her eyes and looked at her friends for a moment. Then she grinned. "Okay. Let's do it!"

Charlotte grabbed her radio and they headed downstairs, still in their pajamas. The common room was empty, as they'd hoped it would be. Charlotte turned the radio on and they started dancing wildly. Kayla jumped up on the couch, dancing, while Lily jumped on one of the tables in front of the fire. When the song ended, they paused for minute, catching their breath. At least, until a pillow hit Lily in the head. "Hey!" she exclaimed, looking around to see Julia looking at her with a wicked expression on her face.

Lily grinned. "Okay, fine! If that's how you want to be…" she said, and then threw the pillow she had snagged from the chair behind her at Julie.

Soon pillows were flying everywhere, intermingled with some dancing when the music started up again. This was the scene that the Marauders saw when they came trudging down the stairs, yawning. Sirius was first, walking with his eyes half-closed until he came into view of the common room. His eyes almost bulged out of his head. "I must be dead, because this is heaven," he whispered to James, who was behind him. James was smiling amusedly at the scene, watching a certain girl whose red hair fanned out behind her as she spun in a circle. "Then we must have done a murder-suicide, 'cause we're both in heaven," James whispered back,

Remus and Peter were behind them, also staring at the girls. The four boys stood on the steps for a few seconds, just watching them. Then Sirius stepped down and said loudly, "So, is this what you girls do when we go to bed?"

Alice and Charlotte shrieked in surprise. Kayla jumped off the couch and crossed her arms over her chest, trying to hide the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. Julie tried to jump off the armchair she had been standing on, tripped over the arm, and fell flat on her face. She jumped up quickly, her face turning red as she stared defiantly at the boys, who were smothering laughs. "What are you doing here?!" Lily asked, both angry and embarrassed.

James walked over and reached up to help her down off the table she was still standing on. She turned haughtily and jumped down on her own. He sighed. "You woke us up."

"No, James, they woke _you_ up," Remus corrected. "Then you woke the rest of us up. The rest of us who happened to be sleeping quite peacefully, by the way."

"Close enough," he said, waving away this minor detail. "Okay, so you woke _me_ up. And probably half the dorm too. We were just the only ones with the guts to come down and confront a bunch of girls who are probably on a sugar high."

Lily frowned, but she couldn't protest. They _had_ eaten a lot of candy earlier. "Sorry we interrupted your beauty rest, Potter," she said, smirking. "God knows you need it."

James put his hands over his heart, pretending to cry. "You wound me, Evans. I happen to think you look gorgeous in those very cute little pajamas."

"Ugh, get out of here!" she screamed as she threw a pillow at him, thoroughly embarrassed.

"Hey! That's cheating! We weren't part of the pillow fight." Lily froze just long enough to register the word _weren't_ before a pillow flew into the side of her head.

"Sirius!" she growled. Then she threw it back at him. And then all nine of them were throwing pillows everywhere.

Sirius tackled Charlotte when she threw a pillow at him, sending them both falling onto the couch. James snuck up on Lily from behind, wrapping one arm around her waist while he threw a pillow into her face with the other hand. Kayla and Alice took on Remus, while Julie aimed at Peter.

Finally, gasping, they all collapsed onto couches, chairs, and the floor. "I didn't know you girls had it in you," James said finally, propping himself up on one elbow.

"Had what in us?!" Lily asked indignantly from where she was laying on the floor next to him.

"This is just kind of - I don't know - crazy for you," he replied.

She laughed then, and slowly the other girls joined in. The boys joined James in looking puzzled. "What's so funny?" he asked.

Lily gasped, then bit back her laughter for a minute to answer him. "Potter-" she broke off as a giggle escaped but she fought it back for a second. "We do this all the time. You've just never caught us before." Then her laughter broke out, full force.

James just looked down at her. He desperately wanted to lean down and kiss her, and he almost did, but he stopped himself. Instead, he reached over and said, "Oh, yeah?" And then he started tickling her mercilessly.

"Potter!" she shrieked. "Get off me! That's not fair!" But she couldn't seem to make herself mad at him. Last year she had hated him thoroughly, but this year she couldn't seem to.


	8. McGonagall's News

Lily rolled over in bed the next morning. She did not want to get up. She groaned as she reached out, trying to find the snooze button on her magical alarm clock. She was exhausted. Finally her hand collided with her clock and she pressed the snooze button.

Fifteen minutes later, she reluctantly rolled out of bed. She pointed her wand at her clock and said "Reparo", putting it back together after she'd blasted it to pieces with her wand 7 minutes ago. She sighed and walked to the bathroom to wash up. When she came out, the other girls were getting out of bed, just as tired as Lily. Even Julie was not her usual perky morning self. When they finally made it to breakfast, the boys looked no better. But when James saw the girls walk in, he grinned. He poured Lily a cup of coffee as she sat down beside him. She took it from him wordlessly and started to drink.

"So, how was -" James started to say, but Lily cut him off. She made a noncommitive sound, silencing him with a raised hand. She didn't even bother to take her eyes off of her mug. He fell silent, smiling to himself.

She sat there, sipping her coffee and letting the steam warm her face. When the cup was half-empty, she set it down and turned to James. "You were saying?" she asked.

"Are you always this delightful in the morning, Lils?" he asked, fighting back a laugh.

She glared at him. "It's your fault anyway," she grumbled. "You're the ones that kept us up so late. We slept for two hours!"

James grinned. "We're not the ones who turned the common room into a club at 1am," he answered slyly, carefully keeping his eyes on his own coffee.

She gave him another glare as she picked up her cup.

When they finished breakfast, they gathered their things and wove through the hallways to Charms.

When they reached the Charms room, they were surprised to find Professor McGonagall standing outside. When she saw the group approaching, they all saw something tighten in her face. "Miss Evans," she said in an uncharacteristically gentle voice. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Alone?" she added when Alice and James stood still as the others filed past them.

Reluctantly, the two of them walked away, exchanging a glance. They didn't have a good feeling about this.

When they had entered the classroom, McGonagall led her a few steps away and then turned to face her.

"Lily, there's something you need to know."

"Oh my God," Lily cut her off, tears filling her eyes. "No. No, please don't say it," she begged.

"Lily, your parents are dead. I'm so sorry, Lily," Professor McGonagall said, her voice soft. She had gone through this with several other students already, but this was something she never got used to. It broke her heart to have to tell her students that their parents, or their siblings, or someone else they loved was dead.

Lily sagged against the wall. Suddenly she was very tired, a different tired than the exhaustion she'd felt at breakfast. Sleep deprivation was nothing compared to this. She felt very old and worn. The tears dripped down her face. Professor McGonagall stepped towards her and then, shockingly, she hugged her close. She might have been a strict, menacing teacher, but she left Lily with no doubt that she loved her students.

After a minute she stepped back and handed Lily a tissue. "I'm so sorry, my dear. If there's anything I can do for you, Lily, anything at all…" she trailed off.

Lily wiped her nose and slowly pushed herself away from the wall. "No, um, no, I'm okay," she managed softly. "I -I" she left it unfinished. She didn't even know what she had been trying to say.

"You are, naturally, excused from classes for the rest of the day, and for as long as you need, Lily. Would you like me to call one of your friends to walk you back up? Or all of them? They would be more than welcome to stay with you if you wish."

"No, uh, thanks, but, um, I think I should go to Charms. I - I don't want to be alone. I can't think. I need people, and - and noise," she murmured in a strangled in a voice.

McGonagall looked after her sadly as Lily turned and walked slowly into the room.

A/N Sorry this took so long to post!! The semester's ending and everything's getting crazy, so even though I have the next couple chapters written it might be awhile until I post again. Please read and review!


	9. Heartbroken

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to post

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to post!! I've been crazy busy with rehearsals all week. But here it is, please review!!

--

Lily walked numbly to the back of the room and sat down slowly in the seat next to Alice.

"Hey, Lils, what did McGonagall want?" she asked as she reached down to pull out her books.

"Lily?" she said when she got no answer. "Lily, what's wrong?" she asked, urgency creeping into her voice as she caught sight of her friend's face.

Lily couldn't answer. She tried to form the words but her voice caught in her throat. _Why did I come in here?_ she thought desperately to herself. _You wanted the numbness of zoning out in all the noise of the class, _she answered herself. _Yes, but I didn't think. I didn't realize that I'd have to answer everyone's questions._

She tried again to form the words, but she couldn't. She stood and ran out of the room as she lost the fight to hold back her tears.

Alice stood to go after her but James beat her to it. He was out the door before Alice could even get around the table.

Professor Flitwick watched the scene play out sadly. He knew exactly what Professor McGonagall had said, and it hurt him as much as it did her.

--

"Lily!" James called as he ran out the door. He skidded to a halt and for a split second thought she had somehow managed to disapparate within the school. Then he spotted her leaning against the wall a few feet away. Tears were running down her face. She looked up when she saw him, but she didn't try to run.

"Lily, what happened? What did McGonagall say to you?" he asked gently, touching her wrist in a comforting gesture.

She took a deep, steadying breath and tried to force the words out of her mouth. "She told me - she told me-" she broke off as a sob escaped her. James took a step closer and wiped the tears off her cheek with his free hand. Then she looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes, threatening to overflow again. "James, you know what she told me. It was the same message she's been giving to the other muggle-borns for weeks now." She paused again as she saw the expression on his face change. But now she had to say the words, even if he knew already. "My parents are dead, James. They're dead. They are dead because of me. He killed them because of who I am, James!" It came out in a torrent, the words mixing together as she sobbed.

"Oh my God, Lily. Lily, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Lily. I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, stroking her hair and rocking back and forth. He didn't know what to say. It hurt him to see her like this, and it scared him too. He had seen Lily angry, yes, more than anything. He had also seen her happy, stressed, tired, sad, excited, and about a million other things. But never had he seen her heartbroken. She didn't even try to push him away, and that scared him more than anything. She just leaned into his chest and cried like she would never stop. And he stood there, holding her, knowing that he wouldn't move even if she stood there with him all night.


	10. Memories

Finally she stepped back, wiping tears from her face. Then she saw the large wet spot on the front of his shirt. She let out a small laugh that died quickly and sounded foreign coming from Lily, whose laughter was usually full of life and happiness. "Oh, James, I'm sorry," she said, pointing at his shirt. "I-I didn't mean to cry all over you."

"You really think I care about that, Lily?" he asked, looking down at her. He took her hand. "Come on. Why don't we go up to the tower? You can sit down there, and it'll be quiet-"

She wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "I can't," she said softly. "I can't be alone. I can't think about this. But I can't go to class either."

James stood there for a moment. Then he tugged on her hand. "Come on. I know what to do."

He started walking off, still holding her hand, and she didn't bother trying to get away. Quite honestly, she had no idea what to do, so if James did, that was fine with her.

They went down a flight of stairs and walked through several corridors until they reached a portrait of a bowl of fruit. James tickled the pear, then helped Lily through the door that materialized.

She looked around, then looked up at James. "What are we doing in the kitchens?" she asked warily.

"Just wait," he replied. "We won't be here for long."

He grabbed a basket off a shelf and started filling it with food. He put in six different flavors of ice cream, two bars of chocolate, and half a chocolate cake as well as two sandwiches and several bottles of pumpkin juice. Under his breath he muttered an incantation to keep the food cold, then turned back to Lily, grabbing her hand again. "Come on. I have everything we need here to feed a small country. I think we're good."

Lily smiled faintly at the lame joke, but she was too tired and sad to be amused. "James, what are you doing? I'm so tired, I'm not in the mood for excitement."

He paused, then put down the basket and wrapped his arms around her. Slowly she relaxed into his hold, her head resting on his shoulder. "I know," he whispered into her hair after a moment. "I know. I was just trying to think of a place where there would be people around, but no one to ask questions. And I thought you might want some comfort food at some point."

She nodded into his shoulder and finally pulled away. "Okay," she said quietly.

He took her hand and led out the door, through the castle, and out the front doors. Sun hit them in the face, blinding Lily with its brightness. How could the sun still be shining when everything in her world seemed so dark?

He led her over to a tree just a few yards away from the edge of the lake, and then he sat down. All around them, people were stretched in the grass, talking to their friends, studying, or sleeping. There were indistinct voices and soft sounds all around, enough to drown out her thoughts, but, just as James had said, no one to ask her questions.

She tilted her head back against the tree and closed her eyes. In the shade she felt better, and the gentle breeze dried her cheeks and cooled her eyes.

James studied her for a moment, and for just an instant, he saw her face relax and become peaceful as she closed her eyes. Then it tensed up again, as though she couldn't block out the memories, and she sat up with a start. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her forehead on her knees. She felt a hand rubbing her back soothingly, and she leaned instinctively towards James.

--

An hour later, Alice found them there (after searching the entire school for Lily), still sitting the same way. Lily was curled up, her head on James' chest, apparently asleep, and James had his arms wrapped securely around her. As she watched them, he tightened his grip on her and dropped a soft kiss on top her head. She smiled to herself, and then walked quietly over, making sure James could see her. When he did, he smiled slightly.

"What's going on?" she asked softly, trying not to wake Lily.

James sighed. He was trying to decide if Lily would want him to tell Alice or not. Finally he said softly, "Her parents her dead. That's what McGonagall called her out of class to tell her. She was crying and I guess she cried herself to sleep." He smiled faintly. "I haven't moved in ages; I was too afraid of waking her up."

Alice sat down on the grass hard, shocked. "Oh, god," she moaned softly. She put her head in her hands for a moment, and then sat up. "What can I do?" she asked softly, not wanting to wake her friend. "Do you need anything?"

James shook his head. "I'm fine. And as long as she's asleep, I think we should let her stay that way. No need to bring her back into all this pain any sooner than necessary."

Alice nodded. "You're right. Send a Patronus to me or one of the others if you need anything. And I'll give them a heads-up, so they don't give her the third degree."

James nodded. "That's probably a good idea," he said softly.

Alice leaned over and kissed Lily softly on top of her head, then stood and walked away.

James watched her go, then copied her motions and dropped another kiss on top of Lily's head.

--

Another hour passed before Lily began to wake up. She shifted her head and then slowly opened her eyes and looked around.

"James?" she asked. "Potter, why am I sleeping next to you under a tree near the -" she cut off as the memories of the past few hours came rushing back. "Oh," she said softly, pain etched in her voice. She sat up slowly and stared out at the lake for a few minutes. Then, with a great deal of effort, she dragged herself to her feet and started towards the lake.

James stood up after her, his muscles protesting after staying in the same position for so long. Then he hurried after Lily. When they reached the edge of the lake, he let her keep going. She started slowly around the edge and he lagged behind, feeling that she needed to be alone for a few minutes. He sat down at the edge and watched her walk.

Lily was grateful that she didn't have to ask to be alone. She appreciated everything he was doing for her, but now she needed to be alone. She walked slowly, watching the now setting sun set reflecting off the surface of the lake. Images kept flashing through her mind. She remembered her father holding the back of her seat as she learned how to ride a bicycle, running after her, and grinning proudly when she looked back after he let go. She could see her mother placing a cake that said _HAPPY 8__th__ BIRTHDAY LILY! _in front of her, candles glowing. Then, very clearly, came one particular memory. She was seven years old again, and it was a few days before Christmas. She, her mother, and Petunia had been in the kitchen baking cookies, and her father had come crashing through the back door, holding fifteen bags of groceries.

He dumped them on the table as Lily's mother laughingly brushed the snow off her husband's head. He grinned as a lump of snow hit him in the face, then wrapped his arms around his wife, dipped her dramatically, and kissed her. Lily and Petunia had laughed as their father released her, pulled off his coat, and reached for one of the bowls of partly finished cookie dough, which he began stirring enthusiastically. He reached for the flour to add some to the bowl and accidentally knocked the bag over, covering both Lily and Petunia in white powder.

"Dad!" Petunia shrieked as Lily reached for the bag of sugar. "Oh, yeah?" she said, grinning. And then she proceeded to throw the sugar at her father, turning his hair white. The whole kitchen rapidly became a food fight, and hours later, if someone had walked in, they would have found all four of them sitting on the floor, covered in the various ingredients for sugar cookies, eating the few that had already been made along with a jar of frosting.

The tears made their way down Lily's cheeks as she remembered how happy they had been that day. She couldn't bear to think that they would never be together like that again. _Then again_, she reflected sadly,_ we haven't been together in a long time anyway. _She sat down in the grass, halfway around the lake now, and slowly trailed her fingers through the cold water, leaving ripples behind. _That's me_, she thought unhappily. _Make ripples and then leave them behind and let someone else clean them up. I threw the fact that I was a witch at my family and then ran off to Hogwarts and let my parents deal with the fallout, and look what I did. They're dead now because of it._

She felt a hand on her shoulder and jumped, shocked. Quickly she wiped the tears from her face and turned around to find James there. She looked around and realized that she must have been sitting there for hours: it was dark out now and she could barely see James in the dim light from the moon.

"Lils, we should probably go back to the castle. It's almost nine."

She turned back to the lake and watched the water ripple for a minute. Then she nodded. "Yeah, I guess we should." She let him help her to her feet, and then seemed to see him for the first time. "Have you been sitting outside all this time?" she asked softly.

He turned his head away. "Well, yeah," he replied softly. "It's probably one of the last nice days we'll have before winter…thought I'd, er, take in a little sun and…" he trailed off as Lily smiled faintly. He wasn't fooling her.

"Still have that food?" she asked softly. "I think I'd rather eat out here than in the Great Hall, if you don't mind."

He grinned at her. "Of course!" he nearly shouted. "Of course, it's right here," he said, holding up the basket he was carrying.

She smiled faintly and took the sandwich he offered her and they both sat down again. For a few minutes they ate in silence. Then James said softly, "Do you want to tell me about them?"

Lily put down her half eaten sandwich and sat silently for a minute. Then she said softly, "They were wonderful. I'm not going to pretend we didn't fight, James, because we did. Believe me, we did. There were times when I was sure I hated them."

She paused again. "But they were my parents. I can still remember my father teaching me to ride a two-wheeler, and going shopping with my mom in London. When I was little, and I had a bad dream, my dad used to pick me up and carry me downstairs. He'd make hot chocolate, and then he'd put in chocolate syrup because he knew I liked it that way. Then he'd turn on the t.v. and we'd play checkers until I fell asleep on the couch."

She took a deep breath, then continued. "And they were so in love, James. In love with each other, in love with their kids, in love with life. That's exactly what they were. They were very…alive. They loved doing spontaneous things. You know, one time, when I was ten and Petunia was thirteen, we got up for school one morning, but when we went downstairs our parents said we weren't going. They let us skip school, and they took off from work too, and we went to an amusement park. We spent the whole day there, going on all the rides, winning stuffed animals, and eating all the junk food that we could manage. It was…magical."

She stopped and wiped the tears from her cheeks. As she sat silently, she felt a hand close around hers and squeeze gently. "They sound like wonderful people, Lils. I'm wish I could've met them."

She smiled at him through her tears. "I actually think they would have liked you, James. You have the same…passion, I guess, the same passion for life that they had."

They lapsed into silence, but he held onto her hand, stroking the back of her hand comfortingly with his thumb.

After a minute Lily seemed to come to her senses. "We should get back," she softly, gently pulling her hand from his grip. "It's late, and it looks like there's a storm coming."

Sure enough, when James looked, the night sky had turned that funny purple color that appears only during a storm.

Sighing, he put the rest of Lily's sandwich back in the basket and stood up. Reaching down, he took the basket in one hand and Lily's hand in the other and headed back to the castle.


	11. In Good Hands

Lily stopped walking at the end of the corridor leading to the portrait hole

Lily stopped walking at the end of the corridor leading to the portrait hole.

"What's wrong?" James asked, turning to face her,

She looked away. "I can't face them all. I can't tell them."

James squeezed her hand. "They know already," he said softly. "Alice came by while you were sleeping. I told her what happened. I wasn't sure if I should, but I thought, after the way you ran out of class, that you probably wouldn't want to face them all. I thought it would be better if they…knew," he finished softly.

She nodded. "It's ok," she said softly, seeing that he was concerned that she would be angry. "I couldn't have handled telling them."

They walked up to the portrait hole and James said the password ("Mandrake"). When they walked in, though, the common room turned eerily silent, considering it was full of Gryffindors. Lily looked at them all and, knowing why they were quiet, fought the urge to run up to her dormitory.

"I'm so sorry, Lily," Alice finally said, and got up to hug her friend. Charlotte, Julie, and Kayla followed, and the girls pulled Lily into a comforting hug.

Seeing that Lily was in good hands for now, James headed for his friends.

"Hey," Sirius said softly as James reached them. "How's she doing?"

James sighed, then laughed shakily. "She was so out of it that she let me, of all people, stay with her all day. I think she forgot that she hated me."

Remus sighed, then walked away to give Lily his sympathies.

"Where's Peter?" James asked. "He's sleeping," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. Then, more seriously, "I can't even imagine what she's going through. I may hate _my_ parents, but I know how terrible I'd feel if your parents died. They've been more of a family to me than my own parents ever were."

James nodded. For a few minutes he was silent, watching as Lily stayed in her friends' arms. She wasn't crying now, but it was clear that she needed them. And then something hit James, something he hadn't realized all day.

"Oh my God," he said softly. "Oh my God, Sirius, she has no family left."

Siruis looked at James like he was crazy. "You just realized that?" he asked sarcastically.

"I'm not just talking about her parents, Padfoot. Her sister hasn't spoken to her in years, not since she went away to college. All of her grandparents are dead, and now her parents. She has no aunts or uncles. She really has no family left at all."

For possibly the first time in his life, Sirius was speechless. His family was as much a possibility for him as Petunia was for Lily, but at least he had chosen to walk away from them. To have them ripped away like that…

They watched Lily from where they sat. Alice had released her by now and guided her over to a couch. They weren't talking, but Lily was laying quietly, with her head in Alice's lap, staring into the fire, while her friends were strewn across the floor around her.

"She has us," Remus said quietly. He had rejoined his two friends in time to catch the end of their conversation. "She has the girls, and you and me, Pads, and God knows she's always had James. She'll be okay."

--

A/N I'm sorry it took so long to update!! Crazy busy this week! But please read and review and the next chapter will be up soon!!


	12. Sleep here all night

When Lily woke up the next morning, she saw the ceiling of the common room staring at her instead of the top of her four-poster. For an instant she was confused, and then all the events of the previous day came rushing back to her. She closed her eyes for a minute, and then slowly sat up. What she saw surprised her.

Behind her was Alice, who apparently hadn't moved all night so that Lily could use her as a pillow. Julie was sitting, if it rightly could be called that, in an armchair next to Alice, and Kayla was leaning her back against it, her head resting right next to Julie's knees. Remus was curled in the armchair on the other side of the couch, and Sirius was leaning against it, while Charlotte had her head resting in Sirius' lap. James was leaning against the middle of the couch, his head tilted back so that it rested right next to Lily's hip. He held her hand in his.

He stirred as Lily sat up. When he moved his head he groaned, reaching up with his free hand to rub his neck. After a moment, he twisted around to look at Lily, and seemed quite surprised to see her awake.

"Hey," he said softly. "How are you?"

She hesitated, then replied, "I'm ok. I think. It hurts the most waking up, you know, cause I guess I forget while I'm sleeping, and then it's like hearing it all over again when I wake up." She looked away for a minute, glanced around her again, then back at him. "I think the better question is, how are _you_? Did you really sleep here all night?"

"Of course." James seemed surprised by the question.

"All of you?" she asked again, as though she couldn't comprehend this fact.

James grinned. "All of us. You didn't seem partial to going up to the dorms, and we couldn't very well just leave you here."

She studied him for a minute, then whispered softly, "Thank you. Thank you for everything. For staying with me yesterday, for comforting me, for sleeping here last night…thank you."

He reached up and gently followed the curve of her cheek with his fingertips. Finally, in a low voice, he replied, "It was the least I could do. You don't have to thank me."

Julie shifted slightly, and James pulled his hand back quickly as her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey, Lils," she said softly. "How are you?"

Lily groaned, letting her head fall into her hands. "I've been better, Jules," she said honestly.

After a moment she looked up at her friend. "But I really appreciate you spending the night down here with me. My parents may be dead, and my sister may hate my guts, but at least I still have you guys."

Julie leaned over and took one of Lily's hand in hers. "You'll always have family with me, Lily."

"With all of us," James added, squeezing her other hand.

She smiled weakly. "I know. Even when I think you're a prat, Potter," she said, trying to lighten the mood.

The smile faded from her face quickly, and she leaned back. There was no thought, no words, that could pull her parents from her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about it.

The day wore on slowly. There was no thought given to homework or rounds among the eight of them (Peter had vanished early that morning, leaving a note saying he'd be in the library all day), and James forgot about quidditch practice - for the first time ever - until one his beaters came over and reminded him, to which he replied softly, "No, Ben, we are not having practice. If you and the others want to go to the pitch and workout a bit that's fine, but I can't leave right now."

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the sun began to set. Charlotte, Kayla, and Remus left for the Owlery to send letters to their families: after what happened to Lily, they wanted to make sure everything was okay and just talk to them. They suddenly appreciated their families in a way they hadn't for a long time.

Sirius and Julie had gone to the Great Hall to get dinner for everyone. People generally ate there, but Julie had conjured some containers so that they could stay in the common room, considering Lily had shown no initiative to walk any further than the windows and the bathroom.

James and Alice were still with Lily in the common room. Lily was perched on the edge of a windowsill, staring out over the surrounding hills, which were bathed in a warm glow from the sunset. She had been quiet all day, and the others had worked quietly around her while she sat in the midst of them, keeping her company without crowding her. Now, though, her face was dry, though still pulled down in sadness.

Just as the portrait hole swung open to reveal Julie and Sirius, she turned away from the window. She sat on the couch and obediently ate the food they put in front of her. Julie and Alice exchanged secret looks of relief: Lily had pushed away all the food they had given her that day until now.

James turned to face Lily. _Now's as good a time as any_, he thought to himself, and then plowed ahead before he could falter.

"You know, Lily, I was thinking," he began. She turned to look at him, surprisingly receptive for someone who hadn't spoken in hours. "I know you're not going home, for many reasons." He decided it best not to go into all of them right now; she was depressed enough as it was. "But I was thinking, it's not really right that you don't get to say goodbye to your parents. I-I talked to Dumbledore," he pushed ahead, sure he was about to be slapped for not asking her first. "I talked to Dumbledore earlier, and he agreed that since you and Petunia were the only family your parents really had, that the funeral could be held on the grounds, if you wanted that. Petunia would be more than welcome to come, and so would any close friends your parents had, since the castle just looks like old ruins to them anyway. You could tell them you visited here once with your parents and they really loved the place, so you thought it would be an appropriate place to have the funeral." He stopped for breath, half afraid to look at her.

She swallowed slowly and sat silently for a minute. Then she replied softly, "I think that would be wonderful. I didn't want to leave the castle, you're right, because I felt there was no use. I didn't even know where and when or even if Petunia would have a funeral for them, and she certainly wasn't going to tell me, even if I asked. But I desperately wanted to say goodbye to them. Could Dumbledore really arrange that?"

James nodded. "He's already taking care of it. The funeral will be tomorrow at sunset, and afterwards you parents will be transported to the cemetery and buried next to your mother's parents, if, of course, you agree."

Lily didn't meet his eyes as she asked the next question. "Is Petunia coming?"

James looked at her carefully, then sighed. "I have no idea," he replied truthfully. "But she is only nineteen, I don't think she could have arranged a funeral herself, and she is not so set against magic that she won't come to her parents' funeral." He paused. "I think."

Lily shook her head. "She'll come. She loved them. My parents thought she would believe they favored me over her because of my magic, so they spoiled her to try to make her happy, to make her feel important. They were good to her. It's me that she'll hate more than ever. She probably won't even talk to me. She'll blame me for their deaths, and in a way, it is my fault. Not," she said, cutting off her friends before they could start listing the reasons that she wasn't responsible, "that I'm blaming myself, because I know that it is Voldemort's fault and no one else's. But they never would have been targeted if it wasn't for me, and I have to accept that."

The others were quiet. Charlotte, Remus, and Kayla returned from the Owlery, and Remus handed Lily a note.

"It's from Dumbledore," he said quietly.

Lily unrolled it and read it quickly. "He wants to see me in his office. I guess I better go, then."

James made to get up. "I'll come with you," he offered.

"No," Lily said. "It's okay. I'm fine. I'll be back soon."


	13. Dumbledore's Offer

"Ah, Lily, my dear girl," Dumbledore said when he saw her walk into his office. He rose from his seat and hugged her gently. "I am truly sorry for your loss, Lily. It is a terrible thing to lose your parents at all, but to have them ripped from you unnecessarily like this, and at such a young age, is nothing short of cruel." He gestured her into the seat in front of his desk.

She sat down as Dumbledore settled himself behind his desk. "My dear, James came to see me earlier, to propose an idea to me. He suggested that perhaps your parents' funeral could be held here, Lily, since you will be unable to return home. Your house, Lily, as I'm sure you have assumed, was destroyed by Voldemort when he killed your parents, and quite frankly, without any family to send you to, I fear that it would be far too dangerous to allow you to leave anyway. Now this is a highly unorthodox idea, Lily, but it must be admitted that I myself am highly unusual in most people's eyes." He paused at Lily's smile, small but real, and smiled in return, then continued, "I am willing to allow this, Lily, if you wish it." He stopped then and examined her over the top of his half-moon spectacles.

She nodded slowly. "If my sister would be allowed to attend, I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to say goodbye to my parents, Professor. I-I I would very much like to see them one last time."

He continued to study her for a moment, his blue eyes dimming as he saw the deep lines of sadness etched into her face. Then he stood and swept around his desk.

"Very well, Ms. Evans. I shall make all the arrangements and inform your sister of the date and offer her transportation. She will, naturally, be welcome to remain in the castle for a few days if she wishes."

"Thank you, Professor," Lily said, getting to her feet and heading for the door, which Dumbledore was holding open for her. "I can't tell you what this means to me."

"I understand," he said softly. "And I am deeply sorry for your loss. I did not know them well, of course, but I knew of your parents. They were people, my dear, and did not deserve the fate that Voldemort brought upon them. But Lily?"

She nodded as she heard his voice sharpen with his last two words. "Yes?"

"I want to make one thing perfectly clear. Your parents' murder was in no way your fault. The responsibility rests solely with Lord Voldemort, and with no one else, Lily. Do I make myself clear?"

She nodded, then cleared her throat. "Thank you."

He smiled kindly down at her as she turned and left his office. After closing the door behind her, he seated himself behind his desk and rested his chin in his hands. He remained like that for a long time, staring at the spot where Lily had stood and thinking.

--

When Lily reached the common room, she found James waiting up for her. She had wandered the castle for a long time after leaving Dumbledore, thinking, remembering, and hurting. And oddly, she felt a sense of deep calm as she climbed through the portrait hole. Deep sadness, but also calm; she realized suddenly that she was coming to terms with the death of her parents.

"What did he say?" James asked, looking up at her as she entered the room.

"He offered to have the funeral for my parents here, thanks to you," she said, smiling at him. "I accepted, and honestly I'm very grateful to him, and to you." She paused, then looked directly at him. "Thank you so much. I owe you…more than I could ever repay…Potter," she said with a wink, smiling at him as she said it.

"It was my pleasure, my dear," he said, making a gallant bow, happy beyond description that she could tease him, that she was smiling.

Then she surprised him. The smile faded from her face. Slowly, she reached out and put her fingertips under his chin, raising his head until he was looking straight into her eyes. Then, slowly, she leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. She lingered for a moment, then pulled back, eyes still closed. After a short silence, her eyes fluttered open and she said softly, "I should go to bed now. It's late, and it's been a long day. I'll see you in the morning."

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek quickly, then retreated from the room.

"Yeah, I'll see you," James said dazedly as he watched her walk away.


	14. Getting Ready

The next morning, Saturday, Lily rolled out of bed and sat there for a moment before she leaned over and started rummaging through her trunk. She frowned as she dug deeper and discovered that the nicest black clothes she could find were her school clothes. _Come on!_ she thought to herself desperately. By the time Alice and Charlotte woke up, the floor was covered with the contents of Lily's trunk and she was sitting on the floor with two outfits laid out in front of her: her school robes and black jeans matched with a slightly slutty black shirt.

She looked up at her friends as they walked over. "Nothing," she practically screamed, making the still-half-asleep Kayla throw a pillow at her. In a softer voice, she continued, "I have nothing to wear to the funeral. Look at this!"

Alice frowned. "Relax, Lils. First of all, your parents wouldn't care if you showed up in a bright pink bath towel. What's important is that you're there. And second of all, you're living in a room full of teenage girls. Do you really think that between all of us, we can't find one little black dress for you to wear?"

Lily grinned in spite of herself: she was hurting, but she was also adjusting. "Thanks, Al."

Charlotte had gone over to her trunk, and now she came back, holding out handfuls of soft black material to Lily. "Here. Try this one and see if it fits. We're about the same size; it should be okay."

Reaching out, Lily took the dress from Charlotte and held it out, looking at it. "It's pretty," she said thoughtfully, "but still appropriate. It's perfect. Thanks, Charlie."

Standing up, she pulled off her pajamas and slipped the dress over her head. Then, with a little coaxing, the girls got some make-up on her and then rapidly dressed themselves.

"We've got time to spare, Lils. The funeral's not until late afternoon and it's only-" Julie stopped to check her watch, "one o'clock. You wanna get something to eat?"

Lily snapped around to look at Julie as though her mind had been a million miles away. "Wha- oh, um, yeah, sure. I'm actually kind of hungry."

"Great!" Julie said enthusiastically. Even if she had eaten what her friends had put in front of her, Lily had shown no signs of wanting to eat. She grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her out of the bedroom and down the stairs, leaving the other three girls to follow.

When they reached the common room, the Marauders were sprawled across the couches near the fire. James sat up swiftly when he caught sight of Lily. In Charlotte's black dress, with make-up dabbed on her face, she looked beautiful, even as she looked sad.

"Breakfast?" Julie asked as the girls approached the couches. "Er – make that lunch?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Sirius asked as swung his legs off the couch and stood, his eyes already sparkling at the prospect of food, and the other Marauders followed.

They were all hungry, and they ate massive amounts of food. All except for Lily. In her room she had been starving, but now her appetite was completely gone. She moved the food around on her plate with a fork until Sirius leaned over and said into her ear, "You know, you can't fool us into thinking you ate by rearranging your food. I know it's not a five star restaurant, but it's really pretty good." Startled, Lily looked up into his face to find him grinning.

After a minute, she gave him a small smile. Then she turned to food, scooped up a forkful and, presenting it to Sirius, shoveled it into her mouth. Then she turned back to him, giving a very obvious swallow. "Happy?" she asked teasingly.

"Estatic," he replied, giving her a one-armed hug. "Keep it up and I'll be bouncing off the walls."

She smiled again and ate another forkful. "Should I jump up now, or later, Miss Evans?" Sirius said jokingly. "You might want to give me time to pad the walls before I start."

Lily laughed at this. Just to make him happy, she ate yet another forkful, then leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Thanks, Sirius." She paused, then continued, a real smile spreading across her face. "And you can start bouncing around any time now."

--

A/N Please review!! The more reviews I get, the sooner I update!!


	15. The Funeral

After they finished eating, they walked out to the grounds

After they finished eating, they walked out to the grounds. On the other side of the lake, Lily could already see a few rows of chairs lined up, facing two caskets resting on an overlarge stone table. Walking slightly ahead of her friends, she headed for the funeral.

When they reached the rows of chairs, Lily sat silently in the first row, staring almost trancelike at the caskets. Her friends sat supportively around her, James, Alice and Kayla to her right while the others sat behind her.

Gradually, others trickled into the funeral. Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Slughorn, Sprout, and Binns (who was not yet a ghost) offered Lily their condolences, then took seats in the front row on the opposite side. A vast majority of Gryffindor House turned out, as well as a fair amount of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, especially the older students who knew Lily. Hagrid was standing in the back (he had decided against sitting after his first two attempts had resulted in broken chairs). Then Petunia arrived, escorted by Dumbledore, looking very sad and also slightly out of sorts.

"You came!" Lily said, getting up to greet her sister. She went to her and hugged her close without hesitation, and after a moment, Petunia relaxed against her sister and hugged her back. Lily guided her back to where she was sitting. James stood, offering Petunia his seat, which she sat in without so much as looking at him, and James moved to sit beside Sirius in the next row.

Then Dumbledore conjured a podium, which he went to stand behind. "Today," he began, "We are gathered here to mourn the loss of two very fine people, Mrs. Hannah Evans and Mr. Christopher Evans, the parents of Lily and Petunia Evans. They were murdered, cruelly, by Lord Voldemort, for no good reason, torn from their lives and their family long before their time. We all offer you our sincerest condolences, Lily and Petunia," Dumbledore said, shifting his eyes to look directly at the two girls as he spoke his last sentence. "Would either of you like to say anything?"

Lily stood at this and walked toward him. Dumbledore stepped back, giving the podium to Lily, and she began. "None of you, with the exception of my sister, really knew my parents. They were…wonderful. They were kind, giving people who cared deeply for their family and friends. They loved each other and they loved their daughters beyond description. And more than anything else, they were full of life. They didn't deserve to die." She choked as the tears came again, then wiped them away and swallowed hard before continuing. "They used to make the most ordinary things fun, like cooking and cleaning, and when they thought that everything was getting too repetitive, they would – they take us on little trips, before school or on the weekends or sometimes even instead of school. We'd go to amusement parks, go picnicking in a field of flowers, visit specialty shops, all sorts of things. They made life an adventure, for themselves and for everyone they knew. They were special people, irreplaceable, and I will miss them – so much." She paused, stood there for a minute, and then, with a slight nod at the faces that sat before her, she walked back to her seat.

Petunia stood and walked to the podium. She took a deep breath and then began. "My parents were amazing people. I loved them tremendously, but they were ripped from me. Because of magic. Magic killed my parents. Their death was unfair. They had more life to live, that they deserved to live. I wish I'd had one last chance to tell them how much I loved them, how much they meant to me and Lily." She took a deep breath, then concluded, "But now they are gone, to a better place, and it is those they left behind who will suffer. We will always miss them, remember them, honor them for the people they were. They live on in our hearts." She stepped down and went back to her seat, not meeting her sister's eyes.

After Dumbledore had said a few closing words, after everyone had come to tell Petunia and Lily how sorry they were for their loss, and after all except Lily's closest friends and Petunia had gone, Lily sat back down in her seat hard…only to find Petunia standing over her.

"I'm leaving," she said in a funny tone that made Lily look up.

"Dumbledore said you could stay for a few days if you wanted," she said softly, her eyes begging her sister to stay, to really be her older sister.

Petunia looked away for a moment, then back at Lily. "Do you _think_ that holding their funeral, that inviting me, makes everything okay? I knew you were a freak from the moment you got that letter, and now, now….all you are is a freak with your parents' lives on your conscience. If you were, were _normal_," she continued stuttering in her anger, "they would be alive. If this world was fair, it would be _YOU_ that was dead. As far as I'm concerned, you are dead, and if I never see you again, it'll be a day too soon." There were tears streaming down her face by now. "Stay away from me!"

With that, she spun on her heel, and walked briskly away, heading for the path to the gates where Professor Dumbledore was waiting to take her back to Hogsmeade. It was lucky she left then, because Lily's friends were very close to killing her. They stopped themselves only because it was her parents' funeral.

Lily sat where she was. It killed her that her sister wanted nothing to do with her, but it wasn't entirely unexpected. "Your sister doesn't know what she's talking about," Charlotte said, dragging a chair over to sit on Lily's other side. "It's not your fault that your parents are dead, Lily. In any way. She's just upset. I'm sure she'll come around."

Lily nodded and managed a smile for her friend. After a moment, she stood and walked towards the caskets, which were open. Slowly she stepped up to the closest one, in which her mother lay. As the tears rolled fast and silently down her cheeks, she reached in and took her mother's hand, the tears thickening as she felt how cold and lifeless it was. Whispering, she said, "Goodbye Mom. I will miss you…so much. No girl should have to grow up without her mother. I am so sorry for bringing this upon you, but I swear, I will do my best to ensure that Voldemort meets his end. I love you. Rest in peace. Goodbye." She leaned down and kissed her cheek, then stepped back from her casket. She stood there for a moment, then turned to her father.

She stepped up and took his hand in hers, once again feeling that cold lifelessness. "Oh, Daddy," she whispered. "I am so sorry. I don't know if you know this, but the man that came after you was a wizard, and he-" she paused, then continued, making the same promise she had made to her mother. "He came after you because of who I am, but I promise, I will stop him. Not revenge, Dad, but to stop him from bringing this pain on other families." She paused again wiping the tears off her face with her free hand. "I love you so much, I will miss you more than I can say. Rest in peace. Goodbye."

She stepped back, and for a moment she just stood there, looking at her parents' caskets. Then, with a finality that almost killed her, she turned and walked towards her friends. James looped an arm around her shoulders, Julie took her hand, and with her friends grouped around her, Lily made her way back to the castle. She looked back once, to the other side of the lake, at the beauty of the setting sun in the background, and then she turned and walked on, feeling an odd sense of peace and closure. She didn't look back again.

--

A/N: Please read and review!!


	16. Returning to Normal

Things slowly got back to normal after the funeral. What hurt the most now was that her only sister, her only family, wanted nothing to do with her and probably never would. Petunia had come to the funeral, but had refused to sit with her sister or even look at her. Instead, she'd sat in a stony silence at one end of the front row chairs that had been set up on the grounds, shrinking back every time someone came close to her as though afraid that magic was catching. When Lily tried to talk to her, Petunia just stared at her with ear-filled eyes that said it all – she blamed Lily for what had happened and she'd probably never forgive her for it. She'd left directly after the funeral, refusing Dumbledore's offer of hospitality and returning to London instead.

Lily missed her sister every bit as much as she missed her parents; Petunia may have been alive but she'd made it perfectly clear that Lily was dead to her. Coming to terms with the fact that her parents were dead was hard enough, but Lily had no idea how to make things right with her sister. So she just kept writing her letters, every week, hoping that Petunia would answer one of them.

Yet Lily was moving on. Four days after the funeral, she felt refreshed and alive as got out of bed. For the first time since her parents' death, she felt genuinely happy to be alive, taking joy from the rising sun and the sheer fact that she was alive to see it. Besides a constant dull ache that refused to go away, her parents' death had also awakened in Lily a realization of the brevity of life, and that day she resolved not to mope anymore. Her parents had always wanted the best for her, wanted her to be happy, and she was suddenly sure that the best way to honor their memory was to go on living her life instead of lying in bed day after day, sleeping and crying as the sun rose and set outside the window.

She dressed slowly and went down to the common room, savoring every moment. She realized how lucky she was to be alive, and to have friends as great as hers. James and Sirius were sitting in the common room when she got there, even though it was early and a Sunday, and she went over to join them.

"Hey, Lils," Sirius greeted as she sat down with them.

"How are you?" James asked, studying her face.

"I'm good," she said, giving him a genuine smile. "I'm truly good."

James squeezed her hand, then pulled back as the other girls appeared in the common room, still in pajamas.

"Lily?" Alice asked, her eyes closed and her voice thick with sleep. "Did you really have to slam the door when you left?"

Lily bit back laugh. "Sorry, Al, I didn't mean to."

But by now Alice had spotted the boys. "It's early," she said, surprise working its way into her sleepy voice. "And it's Sunday. Why are you awake?"

Sirius grinned. "That's for us to know and you to wonder about," he replied, a devilish grin spreading across his face.

Alice just sighed, stood there for a minute, and then sat down in a big chair, where she promptly fell asleep again. The other girls followed suit.

When they awoke again an hour later, they dressed quickly and got some breakfast, then went out onto the grounds.

Lily worked steadily, catching up on some work. Her teachers had excused her from most of the assignments that had been due, but she still had to learn the material eventually. It was a calming, peaceful day, and Lily felt herself slowly putting herself back to together.

She stuck close to her friends when she went back to classes the next day, not sure how many "I'm sorry"s she could take. After a few days, though, life was, if not normal, at least headed in that direction. Lily still thought about her parents constantly, and she guessed that she always would, but she was figuring out how to live with that, how to laugh and smile and be happy despite that.

That Thursday, four days after she returned to classes, Lily spotted a sign on the bulletin board in the Gryffindor common room.

"Hogsmeade this weekend," she said, turning to Alice. "Are you guys going?"

Alice hesitated. "We weren't sure what you wanted to do, and we didn't know how to bring it up. We thought it might be, well, you know, disrespectful. We figured we'd just let it pass unless you brought it up."

Lily smiled gently. "You don't have to tiptoe around me, you know. I'm doing fine." She paused. "I think we should go."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I could use some time out of the castle, a few hours of fun in town. That is, if you want to go."

"Definitely!" Alice agreed instantly, glad for the chance to get out of the castle herself and even happier to see Lily excited about something.

"I'm in," Charlotte added, who had come up behind them. "I'll pass the word along to Kayla and Julie – I promised I'd help them with their Memory Charms before dinner."

"Great!" Lily said, enthusiastically.

"Good, we can go," said Sirius, also walking up behind them. "James and Remus were worried about offending you in some way. I _told _them you wouldn't mind. We can go, we can go," he finished in a singsong voice, and skipped off to go tell his friends as those his mother as just told his six-year-old self he could go get an ice cream bar.

The girls laughed at the comical image of a seventeen-year-old boy skipping across the common room and trying hard to jump enthusiastically through the portrait hole. Then they laughed even harder when he caught his foot on the frame and tumbled through.


	17. Hogsmeade

Saturday dawned chilly but clear, the sun shining in a pale blue sky. A sturdy wind hinted at snow to come, but not yet; there were no clouds in sight.

The older students gathered in the entrance hall, wrapped tightly in cloaks and their eyes bright with excitement. Lily and her friends stood together right in the middle of the crowd, talking about where they were going to go first and the things they were going to buy.

"I want to do some Christmas shopping," Julie was saying. "I think this is the only Hogsmeade weekend before Christmas, and we can get great presents there."

"I really wanna go to Zonko's," Charlotte said. "I really need some sugar quills to keep me awake in class, and my little sister (who's a second-year) asked me to get her a nose-biting teacup." She paused. "I didn't ask why."

"Can we go to Gladrags?" Alice put in before Charlotte could begin wondering just why her sister wanted a nose-biting teacup.

"Why?" Lily asked. "All we wear are uniforms, at least most of the time. Got a hot date we don't know about?"

Alice blushed so badly that she nearly matched Lily's hair. "Frank asked me out," she mumbled as she became suddenly fascinated in the toes of her shoes.

"What?" Julie shrieked. "Why are we just hearing about this now?"

"I didn't want to make a big deal out of it," she answered, a little louder now but still very interested in the floor. "I mean, Frank and I've always been good friends and you've all been teasing me for years about how I should date him. I didn't think you'd be all that surprised."

"Yeah, but still. This is big! He asked you out! You're actually going on a date with him. You guys are completely perfect for each other. He totally adores you," Julie finished her rant.

"Yeah?" Alice was smiling now. "Well, I was hoping to get a nice dress or at least something he hasn't seen before."

Charlotte grinned. "Screw Zonko's. We can go later. First stop, Gladrags!" She linked her arm through Alice's and pulled to make her walk faster. By now they had left the Hogwarts' ground and were halfway to Hogsmeade. Giggling and talking excitedly now about Alice's date, the girls headed straight for Gladrags. Once there, they started throwing an assortment of clothes at Alice. Kayla suggested a flowy white skirt while Charlotte threw a lime green mini-skirt her way, but it was Julie who found the perfect thing hidden on a shelf behind a rack of brightly colored socks. It was a deep purple dress, so dark it was nearly black, with thin spaghetti straps that tied into a halter and a slightly low-cut V-neck. On Alice it just reached her knees, swirling prettily just above her calves so that she looked both sexy and pretty.

"I don't know," Alice said, looking hesitantly at the price tag. "It's a little more than I wanted to spend. Besides, it's a little slutty. I'm not sure I can pull that dress off."

"You can totally pull it off, Alice, you looked awesome in it," Lily said. "As for the money, forget about it. This is your first date with _Frank_, not just some random stranger off the street. You deserve something nice."

Alice hesitated for another minute, but then she smiled and took it up to the cashier.

A few minutes the girls emerged into the wind, which seemed to have gotten colder while they shopped. It didn't help that the sky had started to get cloudy too, and a few frosty flakes had already begun to fall from the sky. "I'll tell you what," Julie suggested, "why don't we go The Three Broomsticks and get butterbeers to warm up and maybe some food, and then we can go to Zonko's for Charlie's stuff and maybe Honeydukes for a sugar fix before heading back."

The other girls agreed, so they set off. A few minutes later they hurried into The Three Broomsticks, already cold from the biting wind. Apparently, a lot of the students had had the same idea they had. For a moment the girls thought all the tables were taken, but then Julie pointed and started making her way to a few free chairs half-hidden by a Christmas tree. As they got closer, though, it became apparent that the next table over was occupied by four rather familiar-looking boys.

Lily sighed half-heartedly and tried to sound as peeved as she would've a few months ago. "Oh, great. Now we'll have to put up with their awful jokes until we've thawed out enough to leave."

Alice just looked at her out of the corner of her eyes and smiled a knowing smile; the other girls didn't even seem to hear her. They were already angling through the crowd for the free table, anxious to order their drinks and warm up.

Lily followed her friends and they dropped into the seats beside the boys. "Hey, Lilyflower," James said, teasingly pulling gently on the ends of her red hair. Lily just smiled wryly as she pulled off her coat and scarf and ordered her drink from the pretty-faced waitress that had walked over. Sirius winked at her as she turned away, and she seemed to twist her hips a little more than necessary as she walked away.

"So what have you girls been up to this fine morning?" Sirius asked when he finally tore his eyes away from the waitress. The others were just staring at him. Kayla was the first to recover. "Just shopping," she replied mysteriously, not sure if Alice wanted to tell them about her date. "Have you been trying to pick of the waitress all morning, Black?"

"No!" he replied indignantly. "I stopped to buy some Dungbombs and sugar quills on the way."

Charlotte mumbled something under her breath. Kayla glance at her quickly but said nothing. Luckily the waitress was walking back over and no one else noticed the awkward moment. She placed the drinks on the table, leaning over much more than was strictly necessary, and then raised her eyes to meet Sirius' gaze as she straightened and walked away.

Sirius swallowed hard and then stood up quickly. "Bathroom," he said shortly and walked away without even looking at them, his gaze entirely locked on little-miss-waitress.

The boys grinned and looked at each other knowingly. Charlotte reached out and took and huge swallow of the butterbeer in front of her, than put her mug down and smiled at Lupin. "So that's all you boys did all day?" she asked. "You've just been sitting here all day ogling the pretty new waitress?"

"No, we been sitting here all day keeping warm while _Sirius_ ogled the waitress," Remus corrected with a smile playing on his lips.

"Right," she replied, smiling a little stiffly as she took another sip of her drink.

The girls sipped their drinks in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the warmth spreading to their frozen fingers.

Sirius broke the silence when he came back, his hair slightly tousled. "What'd I miss?" he asked, wearing his usual goofy grin.

"We plotted your murder while you were gone," James replied with a totally straight face.

"Yeah? How'm I gonna go? I wanna be prepared."

"Toads."

"Toads?"

"That's right. We'll leave the rest to your imagination."

"Well, on that note," Kayla said, "we should get going. We still have a couple stores to hit and I'd kinda like to get back to the castle before the snow really hits. The girls agreed, so they pulled on their coats and stood to leave. Lily was surprised when James stood up and gently wrapped her scarf around her neck, but she didn't protest. She swallowed hard when she met his eyes and for an instant, they didn't move. Then Lily broke away from his gaze, looking down to grab her purse, and the girls waved goodbye and left.

As they walked down the street, Alice caught Lily's eye and gave her an all-too-knowing look, making her blush. "What?"

"I said nothing," Alice replied calmly, but she smiled and looked smug anyway.


	18. A Happy Christmas

Christmas seemed to come on fast after that trip to Hogsmeade. Though the following week was only the last one in November, the large amounts of snow that the students woke up to every morning now put everyone in a very Christmasy mood rather early in the season. The Gryffindor 7th years were particularly excited, for this would be the first Christmas that they would all spend together, the first that they would all spend at Hogwarts, as well as their last in the great castle.

For as soon as Lily had said she was staying at Hogwarts for the holidays, her friends had oddly decided that they, too, would stay. Kayla, as the first American witch to attend Hogwarts, usually stayed at Hogwarts rather than travel home (for magic was forbidden over the holidays) and Alice's parents had reluctantly asked her to stay because, due to their work for the Order of the Phoenix, they thought she would be safer at school than at home. But for Charlotte and Julie it was another story. They had both been planning on going home this year, and they had invited Lily and the others to join them, but Lily had wanted to stay at the castle, where she felt at home, and so the girls all decided to stay with her. Lily felt horribly guilty and begged Charlie and Julie to go home and visit their families, but the girls simply grinned and insisted that they were excited to spend Christmas at Hogwarts.

Oh, and the Marauders were staying too (big surprise); for some unbeknownst reason James wanted to stay, which naturally meant Sirius was staying, and Peter just followed the leaders. As for Remus, he was in a similar situation to Alice's, and the draw of a Christmas with his friends was hard to resist anyway.

So it was the when the fall term came to an end and Gryffindor Tower emptied for break, the nine of them were left almost completely alone, with just a timid first-year and his third-year sister for company.

"A game of Exploding Snap?" Sirius asked lazily as they lounged around on their first morning of break, directing his question at no one in particular.

No one bothered to answer him. They were watching the ever-falling snow drift past the windows and join the white blanket that already thoroughly covered the grounds, feeling drowsy and slightly hypnotized.

Finally James rolled off the couch he was sprawled across, falling to the floor with a thump, then jumped to his feet and headed upstairs. Five minutes later he returned, fully dressed and carrying a backpack. Without a word he walked out of the portrait hole and disappeared. The other Marauders didn't so much as twitch, but the girls glanced at them in confusion.

"Uh, where did James just go?" Kayla asked.

"He'll be back" Sirius replied sleepily, avoiding the question.

"Yes, but-" Lily tried.

"You'll find out soon enough" Sirius cut her off.

Two hours later, after the others had eaten breakfast and, well, that's about it (it was, after all, the first day of vacation), James reappeared, slightly dirtier and his bag distinctly fuller.

"Let's go" he called, clapping his hands. "Get dressed."

"Where are we going?" Kayla asked, not moving in the least.

"You'll see" he replied, flashing his trademark grin at her.

Grumbling slightly, they got their feet and headed to their dorms to change. Fifteen minutes later, they were back in the common dressed in casual muggle clothing and carrying coats, scarves, and gloves.

"Excellent, excellent" he said mischievously, rubbing his hands together like an evil genius. "Let's go."

"This doesn't sound good" Julie mumbled to Charlie, who nodded in agreement. However, there was really no doubt that they would all follow James, if only to find out what he was up to, and so they followed him out of the castle and walked along to the lake as Lily melted a path through the snow for them.

Finally, James stopped and dropped his pack. He waved his wand and a nearby mound of snow flew up into the air. Another twitch and it shaped itself into three separate long benches and huge icy dome and gently land on the earth.

"After you" he said, bowing and gesturing dramatically to indicate that Lily should precede him into the newly-made igloo.

They arranged themselves across the benches as Remus conjured a small fire in the middle of the open space to keep them warm. James unzipped his bag and started distributing butterbeers to everyone.

"But where-" Charlotte started.

"Ahhhh…that is for me to know and you to wonder about" James replied. "Now, now that I've finally gotten all you lazy bums out of the common room, what shall we do?"

Feeling warmed by the butterbeer and suddenly spontaneous, Lily took a swig and grinned. She reached down and scooped up a handful of the loose snow left on the ground in the igloo and threw it at James.

Slowly he lowered his drink and wiped the snow off his left ear. "You're about to regret that, Evans" he said, grinning.

He molded a perfect snowball and then threw it at her. And then snow was flying everywhere. Julie looked shocked as one hit her squarely in the face and promptly proceeded to reach down to grab some snow, slip and fall flat on her back. Charlotte hit Sirius in the stomach and ducked the returning snowball as well as one aimed by Remus that flew straight over her head and hit Julie, who was just straightening up, knocking her to the ground again. Peter caught James, who was focused on getting revenge on Lily, by surprise, and so it went until finally they were all lying on the ground, breathing heavily and covered in tiny flakes of ice.

For a few minutes they just laid there, completely exhausted. Finally Julie, who had spent most of the snowball fight on the ground or on her way there, struggled to her feet. "I think" she started, then paused to let Remus, who was also just getting to his feet, pull her up. "I think I'm going to take a hot shower. A very long, hot shower."

"Me too. I mean-" Remus began, blushing. "I meant I think I'll also take a shower, in a separate-oh never mind" he finished, blushing even deeper as Sirius and James laughed so hard they could hardly breathe. He turned his back on them and walked rapidly out of the low entrance James had fashioned, closely followed by a bright-red Julie. Kayla, Charlotte, Sirius and Peter soon followed after them, the girls claiming to want showers as well and Sirius mumbling something it being nearly time for lunch and how could they think of letting him miss a meal. Peter seemed content to stay where he was until Sirius reached down and dragged him after him, leaving James and Lily alone.

After a few minutes James rolled over and propped himself on his elbow. He reached out and gently brushed a few flakes of snow out of Lily's hair with his fingers and she turned her head to face him. She didn't say anything, and his fingers lingered against her temple. Slowly, he leaned over her and kissed her, a slow, heart-stopping, sincere kiss. He moved his hand to hold her head, tangling his fingers in her hair and pulling her closer to him. After a moment, he pulled back.

"Lily Evans, will you go out with me?" he asked, his hazel eyes looking into green ones with so much emotion that she could barely register the strength of his feelings. Never before had he looked at her so seriously when he asked her that question; he'd always made it sound like a joke, a game. Now, finally seeing what James had felt all along, Lily reached up to cup his cheek and slowly nodded.

"Yes, James Potter. Yes, I will." And then she leaned up to kiss him again, and this time they didn't break apart for a long time.


	19. First Date

Since there were no Hogsmeade weekends coming up anytime soon, and James didn't really fancy their first date starting off with a trek through a secret passageway, he decided to plan a romantic evening on the grounds.

Three nights later, James was pacing in common room, checking his watch nervously as he waited for Lily. He didn't know why he was nervous; he'd liked her for years and they'd been hanging out together for months now. But this was different. This – this was what he'd been waiting for for years.

He was just turning at one end of the room to pace back when Lily came into view. Nothing fancy, really, she was just wearing jeans and a pale yellow sweater with a smudge of dark liner around her eyes, but James thought he'd never seen her look more beautiful.

He took a deep breath and then walked over to her, offering her his arm. "Miss Lily Evans, may I escort you for this evening?" he asked gallantly.

"Why yes, I believe you may, Mr. Potter" she replied, grinning as she looped her arm through his. "What are we doing?"

"You'll see" he said, he eyes twinkling mischievously. He led her out of the portrait hole and through the winding hallways of the castle as they chatted, laughing lightly as they talked about their friends. Slowly the knot in James' stomach loosened, and Lily looked more relaxed too.

Then they turned down a smaller hallway and Lily looked up at him quizzically as they came to a stop before a picture of a bowl of fruit. "What are we doing here?"

James just grinned down at her as he reached out and tickled the pear. A moment later, he was leading her into the Hogwarts kitchens, where a house elf immediately ran up to them with a picnic basket that looked bigger then he was.

"Is this -" Lily broke off as James nodded. "Wow" she breathed as she looked around at the hundreds of house elves who were cooking and cleaning all around her. The elf standing in front of them bowed and handed the basket to James. "Anything else we can get for you, sir?" the elf asked.

"No, thank you Ivy. This is perfect."

The elf bowed again and turned away as Lily looked at James in amazement. "This is great – oh, wipe that smirk off your face" she added sternly even as she grinned.

For his part, James was looking quite smug that she had liked the first part of the date so much, but he just held the door open for her and said "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Lily laughed as she ducked out of the kitchens, James right behind her. "So now that we have the food, where are we going to eat it all?"

"Ahhh, be patient, young grasshopper. You shall soon see." And grabbing her hand he dragged through the hallways and up the stairs, running slightly out of excitement, until they were facing a painting of dancing trolls. Then James dropped her hand and paced for a moment until a door appeared.

"This, Lily Evans, is where we'll be eating dinner." Intrigued, she pulled open the door and sucked in her breath as she looked inside.

A red and white checked blanket was spread out on the floor of a carpet room and enchanted pillows stood upright, supporting themselves beneath an enchanted ceiling like the one in the Great Hall. Tonight the ceiling was dark blue and sprinkled generously with stars. Small, dim lamps all around the room made it comfortably bright without being overwhelming, and, to top it all off, a few red, yellow, and pink roses grew out of nowhere in the middle of the blanket.

"James, I -" Lily started, then broke off, speechless for the second time that night.

Grinning, James closed the door behind them and put the basket down, then took her hands in his. "I wanted everything to be perfect." He paused, then looked right at her. "Do you like it?"

"I love it" she said sincerely. She leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips, then dropped one of his hands and pulled him over to the blanket with the other. Together, then unloaded the basket and started to dig in, talking and laughing their way through salad, roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, chocolate cake and pumpkin juice. When they were done, James tossed the remains back into the basket and then stretched out on the blanket, drawing Lily close to him. She rested her head on his chest and they laid like that, talking and then not, kissing and then stopping, until they were just resting like that, watching the stars twinkle in the ceiling and enjoying each other's company.

Well after midnight, James realized Lily was sound asleep. Trying not to wake her, he slid out from under, threaded the basket on his arm, and then lifted Lily into his arms and carried her back to her dorm (summoning his broom from his own room and flying slowly up the girls' staircase to avoid the jinx that would have stopped him). Then he went to his own room and laid awake for a long time, reliving the night in his head and visions of bright-eyed redhead danced before his eyes.


End file.
